Bruce Durham CMIOSH explains why understanding what is not being said is such a powerful tool.
Nonverbal communication. We all know a large part of communication is not what we say, but how our bodies move when we are silent or even when talking.
I have been delivering nonverbal communication training to organisations for more than 15 years, yet most organisations have never thought about offering their staff this type of training.
This question is asked on almost every leadership course: ‘Out of all communication, what ratio is nonverbal compared with verbal?’ Most people will usually answer about 80% nonverbal compared with 20% verbal.
Presentation skills, public speaking and effective communication – training for the smaller ‘speaking at’ part is well covered. But when asked about training for the 80% nonverbal part, there is silence.
How can understanding nonverbal communication help us as safety professionals? It’s important to note body language comes from the limbic system, which is known as the ‘honest’ part of the brain. It’s an autonomous process. When someone is feeling something, they will present this in how their body reacts.
It’s summed up by a phrase: ‘People will not always tell you how they feel, but they will always show you.’ This creates an opportunity to connect with each other on a deeper level by noticing what is not being said.
Everyone has a lightbulb moment when they start learning about body language. It’s a way of being human that connects us all, regardless of culture, age, location, industry or job role. We can use it to help deliver better health and safety performance because the real value of nonverbal communication comes from it being a powerful tool for creating a feeling of safety.
What do you think the person pictured in the panel on the right is feeling? Most people, when primed by a question, will start to notice body language. The problem is that, most of the time, we are too busy trying to have our voice heard (talking ‘at’ or responding) to observe others.
What we have with this man is a triple negative behavioural cluster. Note that the arms are not crossed but trying to cover more of the thoracic area – one arm for the lower part, the other for the upper. The observable difference between an arm-cross and this example is subtle, but the difference in feelings that has generated the change is huge. And add the nose touch to these two movements: it is one of the most powerful indicators of being uncomfortable, deceitful or exaggerating.
If they are feeling guarded, defensive or threatened, they will not connect or feel as supported as they could. As a leader, when you notice people are feeling uncomfortable, you can ask what we call empathic supportive questions (ESQs) to create a more supportive and trusting emotional platform. If you can ask the right questions, you will see a person’s whole body change and you will have a much better conversation.
This brings us to an important question for the OSH community: do you believe you get the truth from an accident investigation? Let’s be honest, not many of us do. The fact is that organisations waste huge amounts of money each year fixing things that didn’t need it because we didn’t get to the truth of what happened. This is where body language analysis can help.
If you know what ESQs to ask, you can create more psychological safety. If people feel safer, you are going to develop more trust If there is more trust, they are going to share more truthful information.
If there is more information, you are more likely to be able to explore what really occurred. And if you can discover more of what really happened, you have a much more effective investigation.
Spotting negative body language
- Arms folded or held in front of the body
- Minimal or tense facial expressions
- Body turned away from you
- Lack of eye contact
- Nose touching
- Slumping
- Furrowed brows
Real-life power
In my last corporate role, I was the lead safety and performance coach for Siemens Gamesa, a large global renewable energy company. It had spent a fortune on ‘stop the drop’ working from height activities. One day I was ‘on turbine’. We were collecting teams from different turbines on our vessel when a radio dropped onto the deck of the boat. I would love to say that dropped objects are very rare, but they are not as rare as we would like. An investigation team was formed, involved parties were interviewed in line with the correct policies and a conclusion was arrived at. However, I did not fully agree with it.
I met with an involved party in the canteen. I got us both a hot drink and a bacon sandwich, and asked him to talk me through his thoughts on the conclusion. He said he had been interviewed, gave them everything they had asked for and was open and honest. I fully believed that he felt he was. Then I asked him an ESQ – but remember, we were both drinking and eating, and telling and listening to stories.
I have used this ‘campfire approach’ to great effect hundreds of times to create a safe emotional platform. No interview room, report or ‘sign here to confirm these words are exactly what you said’ requests in sight. My ESQ was based on his own situation: ‘If your kids were to ask you, “Dad, can you look me in the eyes and tell me you are happy with the conclusion and they know everything about it?”, could you honestly tell them yes?’
How to overcome negative signals
Ask empathetic support questions
Once you’ve spotted problematic body language, it’s important to seek clarity about what the negative signals mean, rather than jump to conclusions. Emotional support questions are open-ended questions that aim to learn about the individual and promote a safe space for thoughtful reflection. They show you are listening, care about what is being said and want to understand opinions and feelings. They should be asked neutrally, for example, ‘what do you think would be the ideal outcome?’
Use empathy statements
These are short phrases that help establish a connection and create trust and understanding. They show that the other person is your focus. For example, ‘if I am understanding correctly…’ or ‘I would feel X too in that situation.’
Use positive body language
An important aspect of asking questions neutrally and getting a person to open up to you is your own body language. Check you’re not giving off any negative signals and think about maintaining long periods of eye contact, moving or leaning closer, keeping limbs relaxed and uncrossed and using a genuine smile to create ease.
This is where we had a connection that was brought about by the campfire approach, the ESQ and his limbic system. That honest part of the brain reacts automatically. He did several things at that moment: he leaned back (moving away, increasing the space between them and you, means they are uncomfortable); he crossed his arms; and he touched his nose when he said yes.
It wasn’t about him lying or concealing information. Sometimes it’s subconscious. This gave me the opportunity to know that there was more to be said, allowing me to ask better ESQs.
WHAT IS THE CAMPFIRE APPROACH?
People have been telling stories around campfires for thousands of years as a way to impart information and build a community. In the workplace, a campfire approach uses less structured and formal locations and communication methods in order to improve employee engagement. A ‘campfire’ should take place outside of traditional business spaces – for example, in a cafe – using less formal seating arrangements.
Benefits for all
Regardless of role, industry, culture, orientation or age, every person and every team can benefit hugely from enhancing our nonverbal communication skill-set.
Be open to the power of enhancing your skill-set around nonverbal communication because the benefits of helping people to feel safer, more connected and listened to are vast.
Bruce Durham CMIOSH is a performance psychology coach who delivers employee performance enhancement and engagement programmes for Huddle Culture. For more details, visit huddleculture.com
Benefits of better conversations
- Increased psychological safety
- Higher levels of trust
- Enhanced information accuracy
- Lower levels of stress
- Better mental health across the workforce
- Happier and higher-performing employees
- Higher-performing organisations.
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